Sweet
Valentine: Baker Emily Jones decorates chocolate hearts at the Lake Champlain
Chocolates factory in Burlington, Vermont, on Feb. 11.AP/Toby TalbotFor many,
February is the month of romance.
Valentine’s
Day on Feb. 14th gives people a momentum to celebrate love and express it to
their object of affection.
The
classic formula to mark the occasion usually includes a romantic dinner for
two, red roses, chocolate, candy and a greeting card. For those with more money
to spend, a holiday getaway and jewelry might come into the picture.
Those
skeptical of the day’s hype might refuse to partake in the consumerist frenzy,
saying that love should be celebrated on any day of the year. Romantics, who
love the special occasion, meticulously plan their activities on Valentine’s
Day. And there are those who don’t mind being given a reason to be romantic [1].
But for
every type of person holding different opinions on Valentine’s Day, romantic
love is more than dinner and gifts. It is the one drug that everyone loves — as
long as it lasts. It gives people energy, sparks creativity, and makes a
besotted person incredibly focused on one’s object of affection.
Romantic
love is a great motivator and a muse for art. The many poems dedicated to love
is testament to that. Love drives people to go the extra mile. The fear of
loosing love and jealousy can drive people to the worst of actions, from
stalking to murder.
Beyond
kowtowing to the demands of a commercialized Valentine’s Day, The Jakarta Post
asked people what they did when driven by this intense emotion, and what their
perception of romantic love was.
Most
answered they wanted an everlasting relationship. A happily married mother of
one said love was an illusion, referring to the roles of dopamine and serotonin
in our brains. Others say they believe in love in a metaphysical manner. And an
editor-cum-artist dreams of a noncommittal everlasting love.
The
feisty, 25-year-old Bali-based editor Annisa Dharma said romance or the feeling
of infatuation drives her to “assemble beautiful words that woo”. It had also
driven her to make what she called “grand gestures”.
“I’ve
moved countries for a boy. I’ve made a song for a boy [2]. I’ve created art for
a boy. I’ve let go of my ambition for a boy,” she said.
Annisa
said her actions were driven by romance [3].
“I think
romance is more of a language. Romance and love don’t go hand in hand,” she
said.
“Personally,
I can’t be romantic to someone I truly love, and likewise, when I don’t love a
person, I can be the most romantic person ever.”
However
if she really loves someone, she would not do anything to hurt or harm herself.
“Because I’d trust them with all my heart,” she said.
Annisa
added she would want love to last forever. “Thus, no commitments…Free and
liberating.”
She
however would not mind getting married “if I found the right one, in which the
relationship didn’t change regardless of the married status. That would mean
getting married purely as an act of romance… which is fine,” she said.
For
28-year-old Yolanda Nirmala, love has such a powerful effect on her it made her
think twice
about her
religion and chose to live without it. She said she found peace as an agnostic.
“Would it
makes sense to you if I told you that being in love once led to me being
agnostic? That’s how powerful love is in my life,” she said.
Coming
from a conservative Muslim family, Yolanda fell in love with a man who had a
Catholic upbringing. She was in her early 20s, in college; meanwhile, her
partner was in his early thirties.
Their
families disapproved of their relationship because they came from different
faiths. They continued to date in secret for fear of being separated [4].
She and
her partner devised a plan to elope to Singapore and live abroad. They started
to save up money for their planned future together.
During
this time, she started to question religion.
“I
started to lose my faith in religion. I started to ask myself: ‘What is the
point of religion have if it used to hate other people?’ Because of a different
religion, one can hate and stay away from others?”
Life sent
her on another path, Yolanda said, as her boyfriend was killed in a car
accident in their two years of relationship.
“I was
sad as sad can be. But the thing that didn’t die with him, was me being an
agnostic,” she said. “I don’t feel there is a strong reason to fit in boxes
that separate people.”
For
29-year-old Ramdan Sudrajat, love has made him do things he never imagined he
could do.
“I
cleaned my girlfriend’s father’s behind when he was ill after having a stroke,”
he said.
“I even
surprised myself. I have never even seen my own father naked. That’s the power
of love,” he said.
The
relationship with his girlfriend eventually fizzled. That was around 2006 he
said, and he was over it.
“Failure
is normal. Even though I regret the decision to break up. I still remember her
as a part of the story of my life,” he said.
“I think
love is when you put your trust and hope in someone whom you wish to be your
life companion and who will be by your side until you get old,” he said.
But a lasting
relationship wants to build ramdan, [5] Yolanda said she was not in a rush and
was looking for a mature relationship, with a solid long-term plan. “If a guy
says sweet things to me such as ‘I like you’ or something similar, until he
proves it I would say it’s bulls**t,” she said. And until she finds that love,
she is happy with casual dates.
Maria
Ferrari, 33, a mother and a singer, has a very rational perspective on romantic
love. She believes it is an illusion, and the emotion comes from a combination
neurotransmitters in the brain.
“In
reality, [most] humans whether they realize it or not are self-centered,” she
said. “For me, the deepest and craziest [thing one can do] for ‘love’ is to
keep it unspoken.”
She
believes a committed relationship occurs when two people agree to want to
“know” their partners.
“The
‘want’ is full of conflict. And often it becomes a drama, just like sinetron,”
she said. Maria added there was no time frame in getting to know one’s partner.
“Because humans are dynamic,” she went on.
Despite
her rational perspective, Maria enjoys being infected with the emotions.
“Being
high and low is exciting. Because [sometimes] that is what people look for. So
life doesn’t feel that bland,” she said.
Scientists
have explained love through neuroscience. A professor of Neuroscience in Emory
University in Atlanta, Georgia, Larry Young. wrote in scientific journal
Nature, that love could be explained by a series of neurochemical events in a
specific area of the brain. From his research Young finds that oxytocin levels
in the brain may enhance humans ability to form trusting relationships.
Meanwhile
anthropologist Helen Fisher states that different neurotransmitters such as
testorerone, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin have roles in the phases of
romantic love, which are lust, attraction and attachment. In her articles,
Fisher wrote that when someone faces rejection, the body goes into protest and
also a renewed passion that she coined “frustration attraction”, which results
from the prolong effect of dopamine.
To cope
with all the highs and lows of love, Maria suggested being conscious of all
these emotions.
Taking
advice from meditation teacher, she said: “Consciously enjoy everything, and
observe”.
Pasive
Voice
1.
And there are those who
don’t mind being given a reason to be romantic [1].
2.
I’ve made a song for a boy
[2]
3.
Annisa said her actions
were driven by romance [3]
4.
They continued to date in
secret for fear of being separated [4]
5.
a lasting relationship
wants to build by ramdan
Active
Voice
1.
there are people who do
not mind being rushed to be romantic
2.
I'm making a song for boys
3.
Annisa said her actions drove
by romance
4.
They are continue to date
in secret for fear of being separ
5.
ramdan is building a
lasting relationship
Contoh 10
kalimat aktiv :
1.
i buy a book today (Simple
Present)
2.
The cat catch the mouse
today (Simple Present)
3.
He bought the pen from the
shop yesterday (Simple Past)
4.
She brought the books to
my house yesterday (Simple Past)
5.
She has rejected the call
(Present Perfect Tense)
6.
She has rejected me. But
I’am still in love (Present Perfect Tense)
7.
I have closed the window
(Present Perfect Tense)
8.
Luna and Ron are loving to
read book. (Present Progresive)
9.
She is bringing many
books. (Present Progresive)
10. While we were having the picnic, it started to rain (Past
Progresive)
Contoh 10
kalimat pasiv :
1.
A book is bought by me
today (Simple Present)
2.
The mouse is caught by the
cat today (Simple Present)
3.
The pen was bought by him
from the shop yesterday (Simple Past)
4.
The books were brought by
her to my yesterday (Simple Past)
5.
The call has been rejected
by her (Present Perfect Tense)
6.
I have been rejected by
her. But i’am still in love (Present Perfect Tense)
7.
The window has been closed
by (Present Perfect Tense)
8.
The food is being cooked
by mother for her husband. (Present Progresive)
9.
This lecture is being
studied by them. (Present Progresive)
10. The piano was being played by him (Past Progresive)
